I don't know if was intentional, but if Bohd's comment really wasn't meant to be a pun then it should be "flair", not "flare".
I really enjoyed this chapter, reminds me of why I kept reading after the tree incident and all it led to. I literally smiled when Ian whooped. You go boy!
As much as some of her submission annoys me, I do like the fact that she has a bit of automatic submission to a teacher. Most students do it to a point, and it's about time she learned to be respectful to her mentors in thought AND voice.
On the totally opposite end of things, imagine Bohd disciplining Mack using elemental evocation. HOT.
My thought at reading the end of this chapter echoes this bit - if she can just summon up a bit of this mindset for her fighting class, she'll have succeeded in her task of the day. I am (moderately) hopeful.
For some odd reason, this chapter didn't feel like Mack to me. Something in the tone or the writing style was just off enough that it sounded more like someone else trying to write Mack.
Just a little too collected and focused for the usual Mack. Of course she usually is somewhat more together when she is working out a problem in her elemental and enchanting classes, not much but a little.
It's nice to see Mack working with and developing her natural gifts again. As for people saying this doesn't sound like Mack or it sounds forced, I have to disagree. This is Mack when she finds her center. It's a combination of her meditation session with Dee this morning, the punishment she received from Amaranth for being judgmental about Mike's fantasies, and the concentration and focus of working on figuring out how to do something with her magic. The girl is obviously making some decent progress in the area of self-control, but like all lessons where Mack is concerned you can bet her grip on this one will be faltering at best for a while yet. She'll have times like this where she gets it and doesn't even realize that she is in fact getting it, and other times when she doesn't get it, even after having gotten it a couple times before, and doesn't understand why people are frustrated with her for it. That's just par for the course with Mack's learning curve. She makes amazing progress, then backslides and seems to lose all the progress she's won, only to recover it the next time she needs it. She's the kind of person who doesn't make straight line progress. It comes in fits and spurts, and you just have to take what you can get when you can get it.
Typo Report:
The next step was to evocation fire from the fire.
I know a couple of others have mentioned this one. It just sounds more than a tad off using "evocation" as a verb like that. If that's how you mean to say it though I can't really say it's wrong.
using magic to “latch on” to the quality I sought at the same time I was enhancing it .
Extraneous space before the period.
Fortunately, I wouldn’t have to sustain the evocation it as long as I’d done that.
Either "the evocation" or "it" needs to go.
If a touch of submission it helped my performance and helped her make up her mind, that was a good thing.
using magic to “latch on” to the quality I sought at the same time I was enhancing it .
Either "at the same time AS I was enhancing it", or a colon (semi-colon?) before the "at" to separate the two clauses and possibly a comma after "time". The "as" formation looks better to me.
It felt a little weird to realize that I was submitting to her, but I supposed that it wouldn’t make a difference to her why I was behaving in her class, and just as with the evocation, it was the results that mattered the most.
Now, if only she'd apply that mindset to Callahan's class...
We can hope, I feel - that's how I try to view Mack's story. The eternal hope she'll actually get things right, and the dancing and clapping when she does.
I'm thinking that she's not only referring to Mackenzie needing to be able to defend herself, but to develop more control over the element she has a natural affinity for - up to now Mack's use of fire has been more instinctive than anything.
I have to agree. I feel that Bohd isn't just concerned with Mack learning to defend herself, in fact she may not even be that concerned with that at all, but more with Mack coming to achieve a greater fundamental understanding of herself, and through that understanding coming to achieve a more balanced approach to life.
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March 9 2009, 19:41:09 UTC 3 years ago
I really enjoyed this chapter, reminds me of why I kept reading after the tree incident and all it led to. I literally smiled when Ian whooped. You go boy!
March 9 2009, 20:17:14 UTC 3 years ago
The next step was to evocation fire from the fire.
March 9 2009, 20:39:50 UTC 3 years ago
March 9 2009, 21:28:52 UTC 3 years ago
Should just be "evoke".
March 11 2009, 04:48:29 UTC 3 years ago
March 9 2009, 21:38:52 UTC 3 years ago
Needs fixing.
March 9 2009, 21:46:27 UTC 3 years ago
Should it be "the whole flame briefly bent and stretched a bit"
March 10 2009, 01:40:25 UTC 3 years ago
Typo brigade!
“But I actually meant the other part.The closing quotation mark was left out of that snippet.
March 10 2009, 08:07:06 UTC 3 years ago
Re: Typo brigade!
likewise, there are wrong-way-round single quotation marks:"... being ’attack magic’ or ’combat magic’. This..."
Should be "... being ‘attack magic’ or ‘combat magic’..." ?
3 years ago
March 9 2009, 20:54:16 UTC 3 years ago
default submission
As much as some of her submission annoys me, I do like the fact that she has a bit of automatic submission to a teacher. Most students do it to a point, and it's about time she learned to be respectful to her mentors in thought AND voice.On the totally opposite end of things, imagine Bohd disciplining Mack using elemental evocation. HOT.
March 9 2009, 22:17:52 UTC 3 years ago
Re: default submission
It'd be nice if she developed this mindset for other teachers, too, though, not just the ones she likes.March 10 2009, 04:37:07 UTC 3 years ago
Re: default submission
My thought at reading the end of this chapter echoes this bit - if she can just summon up a bit of this mindset for her fighting class, she'll have succeeded in her task of the day. I am (moderately) hopeful.March 9 2009, 21:39:08 UTC 3 years ago
Anybody else get that feeling?
March 9 2009, 21:54:52 UTC 3 years ago
March 10 2009, 00:07:22 UTC 3 years ago
3 years ago
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March 10 2009, 00:44:34 UTC 3 years ago
*Dances happily*
I missed class SOOOOOO much.Now i've just gotta go spread the MU word around.
Did anyone else wonder why Mack got in trouble for looking at Ian?
March 10 2009, 01:29:15 UTC 3 years ago
Re: *Dances happily*
I think it was for glowering at him when she failed and he didn't.March 10 2009, 23:31:05 UTC 3 years ago
Re: *Dances happily*
Hot girl at desk in front of you bends way over... and at last report, I don't think Mack was in a long dress.Teach was of course wrong in thinking Mack knew what she was doing, but...
March 10 2009, 02:02:26 UTC 3 years ago
Mackenzie's almost always
Been one who draws fire
It's easier to
Invoke fire from a candle
Burning at both ends
Mackenzie submits
Her class assignment without
Getting hot for Teacher
March 10 2009, 03:41:28 UTC 3 years ago
Typo Report:
I know a couple of others have mentioned this one. It just sounds more than a tad off using "evocation" as a verb like that. If that's how you mean to say it though I can't really say it's wrong.
Extraneous space before the period.
Either "the evocation" or "it" needs to go.
Same with "a touch of submission" and "it".
March 10 2009, 07:07:12 UTC 3 years ago
using magic to “latch on” to the quality I sought at the same time I was enhancing it .
Either "at the same time AS I was enhancing it", or a colon (semi-colon?) before the "at" to separate the two clauses and possibly a comma after "time". The "as" formation looks better to me.
March 10 2009, 03:51:57 UTC 3 years ago
Now, if only she'd apply that mindset to Callahan's class...
March 10 2009, 04:39:30 UTC 3 years ago
March 11 2009, 21:05:01 UTC 3 years ago
About Bohd's last words...
I'm thinking that she's not only referring to Mackenzie needing to be able to defend herself, but to develop more control over the element she has a natural affinity for - up to now Mack's use of fire has been more instinctive than anything.March 12 2009, 19:35:09 UTC 3 years ago
Re: About Bohd's last words...
I have to agree. I feel that Bohd isn't just concerned with Mack learning to defend herself, in fact she may not even be that concerned with that at all, but more with Mack coming to achieve a greater fundamental understanding of herself, and through that understanding coming to achieve a more balanced approach to life.