To be perfectly fair, Jaime needs to learn when to find a good place to break the conversation and End it right there. When Iason told him the mushrooms were for cooking Jaime should have said, "I don't cook so no, thank you." And gotten back to his field-work rightt then.
The Iason situation gives Jamie grief, And there's still no sign of relief. But in Byrony's class Only she can use sass, So they'd best make like trees and "leaf".
When writing a limerick, the most important thing to consider is emphasis. Everything else will fall into place. The pattern of 'beats' as the lines are read is 3/3/2/2/3. If _ is an emphasized, or 'long' syllable and . is a short one, limericks sound like:
._.._.._. .._.._.._. ._.._ ._.._ ._.._.._. or ._.._.._ ._.._.._ ._.._ ._.._ ._.._.._ or ._.._.._ ._.._.._ .._.._ .._.._ ._.._.._ or even ._.._.._.. ._.._.._.. .._.._ ._.._ .._.._.._.. if you're feeling especially witty.
Just make sure it sounds natural to place the emphases somewhere reasonable within each line, and keep the As rhyming and similar in number of syllables (within one usually) with the As and the Bs with the Bs. (AABBA form for limericks) If the number of syllables is off by too much (11 in your first line, 8 in second), words have to be read at different speeds to keep the lines within their number of beats, musically. Thus, pacing problems.
Last week Bryony had told us * were saying goodbye to the clearing.
Missing a "we" in there.
We followed her down the main path. She moved fast for such a short person, but when we’d worked in the clearing, it had been possible–advisable, even–to rush ahead of her, given the short class period. This time we no choice but to let her lead, especially when we came to the fork of where the loop started and she went the other way, catching most of us off guard. We didn’t stay on the main path for long. Bryony called out, “Everyone still with me?” and then plunged into the woods, following a path that was barely there.
Needs another line break between those two paragraphs. Also, the dashes with no spacing around them make that parenthetical phrase look like a pair of hyphenated word pairs instead.
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alexandraerin) wrote in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
ae_stories,
June 26 2009, 04:02:18 UTC 2 years ago
June 26 2009, 05:15:54 UTC 2 years ago
June 26 2009, 05:16:33 UTC 2 years ago
June 26 2009, 05:45:26 UTC 2 years ago
June 26 2009, 06:54:04 UTC 2 years ago
And there's still no sign of relief.
But in Byrony's class
Only she can use sass,
So they'd best make like trees and "leaf".
June 26 2009, 17:23:44 UTC 2 years ago
June 27 2009, 00:57:51 UTC 2 years ago
June 27 2009, 03:01:03 UTC 2 years ago
._.._.._.
.._.._.._.
._.._
._.._
._.._.._.
or
._.._.._
._.._.._
._.._
._.._
._.._.._
or
._.._.._
._.._.._
.._.._
.._.._
._.._.._
or even
._.._.._..
._.._.._..
.._.._
._.._
.._.._.._..
if you're feeling especially witty.
Just make sure it sounds natural to place the emphases somewhere reasonable within each line, and keep the As rhyming and similar in number of syllables (within one usually) with the As and the Bs with the Bs. (AABBA form for limericks) If the number of syllables is off by too much (11 in your first line, 8 in second), words have to be read at different speeds to keep the lines within their number of beats, musically. Thus, pacing problems.
Enjoy: http://limerickdb.com/?top150
June 27 2009, 03:59:01 UTC 2 years ago
June 26 2009, 17:27:33 UTC 2 years ago
Typo Report
Missing a "we" in there.
Needs another line break between those two paragraphs. Also, the dashes with no spacing around them make that parenthetical phrase look like a pair of hyphenated word pairs instead.
Pizza pizza!
June 26 2009, 22:25:19 UTC 2 years ago
A little farther afield
Than most expected
Nymphs have a moral
Exemption but they can use
Sex as a weapon
Kira doesn't speak
Softly but at least she now
Carries a big stick