The single most important thing we have to do is you know, the worst part is that our fates are now going to be inextricably intertwined.”
Okay, so Rhyme was rambling here and maybe not speaking as coherently as usual, but this sentence seems to be a train wreck of two or more sentences colliding somewhere around the "you know" region. Could be just Rhyme thinking so fast that her mouth couldn't keep pace with her thought processes. It's hard to say.
It was smooth… silky… controlled, the voice she presented to the world,
A list of adjectives separated by ellipses and followed by a comma sounds wrong. I would have followed "controlled" with one more ellipsis.
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alexandraerin) wrote in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
ae_stories,
February 18 2009, 19:22:39 UTC 3 years ago
Repeat itself, but it does
Rhyme…"—Samuel Clemens
February 18 2009, 20:27:30 UTC 3 years ago
Typo
Yay, more Star Harbor!“Don’t do me any favors Webmistress said.
-Missing end quote.
February 18 2009, 22:11:46 UTC 3 years ago
Typo Report
Okay, so Rhyme was rambling here and maybe not speaking as coherently as usual, but this sentence seems to be a train wreck of two or more sentences colliding somewhere around the "you know" region. Could be just Rhyme thinking so fast that her mouth couldn't keep pace with her thought processes. It's hard to say.
A list of adjectives separated by ellipses and followed by a comma sounds wrong. I would have followed "controlled" with one more ellipsis.
February 19 2009, 06:11:53 UTC 3 years ago
February 19 2009, 17:36:21 UTC 3 years ago