Huh. If I wasn't already halfway between unconsciousness and a headache, I'd probably start some sort of stream of consciousness thing working between this chapter, Pink Floyd's The Wall, and a variety of personal insights and observations.
But for now, I think two Excedrin, a few hours of sleep, and 'huh' will suffice.
I was gonna mention that "doens't". Also, here's another one.
“My point is that those feelings are even further removed from either my feelings towards Viktor and my feelings towards you than those two feelings are towards each other,” Steff said.
Either the "either" needs to be removed or the "and" needs to be an "or".
No - not an error. With parentheses to lay out the comparison:
“My point is that those feelings are even further removed from either (my feelings towards Viktor and my feelings towards you) than (those two feelings are towards each other),” Steff said.
"Either" goes with "or", not "and" and not "than". Your parentheses do nothing to address that.
As for cinnamonbrandy's theory, I'll have to take your word for that. I've never been so emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted that I didn't care if what came out of my mouth made grammatical sense or not. It always bugs the hell out of me when I realize I've said something grammatically mangled and I have to go back and correct myself immediately. I'm kind of uptight that way and I get the feeling Mack would be too.
I think the larger issue here is 'people don't proofread what they say while they're emotionally overwhelmed, exhausted & with someone they're not trying to impress'.
I love how gentle Steff can be with Mackenzie-- this chapter really spells out how much of herself she sees in Mackenzie's awkwardness and uncertainty, and it must be sort of interesting/trippy for her to get the chance to be to someone else something roughly analagous to what Viktor was to her (not in the "constant" sense, that would be Amaranth for Mackenzie, but in the kind of mix-between-danger-and-love sense). Steff in dreamily introspective mode is my favorite kind of Steff. At least the potion certainly doesn't seem to have done anything to make her emotionally resemble what we've seen of the subterranean halfkind (not that their emotional problems aren't entirely explicable considering their status in society).
I also like her thoughts on Dee. You know, I'd be totally thrilled if Tales of MU were entirely about Dee. She fascinates me more than anybody else in the story, and her culture is the most intriguing to me, too. I really hope you pick up again at some point with the OT set in her house-- I want to know what's going on with Alea and Dehsah (and Darek!). I would LOVE entire chapters of just Alea and Dehsah talking about Dee. SO many issues there.
Just echoing fiddledragon's questions... for me, at least, the whole story is showing on the main page, and I don't see anyplace there to leave comments. I don't know if this is intentional or not, but I figured I'd give you a head's up just in case.
I would like to amend that - I just realized by clicking on the chapter's title, it takes me to the page just for that chapter and the comments. But the full thing is still displaying on the main page for me without any cut text.
There are a lot of things I’m curious about, but I could only really experience them once, without a lot of complicated and expensive preparations. Putting someone else through them and watching, listening…
I love these occasional subtle reminders that Steff is, in fact, Chaotic Evil.
My impression was that she didn't only want to do terrible, evil things to innocent persons, but that she was _actively_planning_to_, once she got married to Viktor. IMO, there's a difference between idle thoughts, or even obsessive fantasies, and actual intent.
Now that I think of it, she _did_ admit to having committed cannibalism while on break. It would surprise me greatly if she didn't engage in a little NON-CONSENSUAL torture of Viktor's slaves while she was at it too. If she hasn't tortured or raped an innocent person to death, it's only a matter of time.
So did Dee think that Steff's issues came only from being in the wrong body, and related that to what halfkind might feel before being accepted as halfkind, and thus the potion would take care of that?
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February 4 2010, 06:04:02 UTC 2 years ago
But for now, I think two Excedrin, a few hours of sleep, and 'huh' will suffice.
February 4 2010, 06:41:30 UTC 2 years ago
February 4 2010, 08:36:26 UTC 2 years ago
this is really good, and...
it's possible I'm first to point out a teensy typo....doens’t mean I’m convinced it’s true.”
doesn't?
Loving Steff's description of her & Viktor's first kiss...
H.
February 4 2010, 17:47:44 UTC 2 years ago
Typo Report
I was gonna mention that "doens't". Also, here's another one.Either the "either" needs to be removed or the "and" needs to be an "or".
February 4 2010, 17:59:23 UTC 2 years ago
Re: Typo Report
While "or" is technically correct, I think "and" also works in this case.February 4 2010, 22:06:12 UTC 2 years ago
Re: Typo Report
No - not an error. With parentheses to lay out the comparison:“My point is that those feelings are even further removed from either (my feelings towards Viktor and my feelings towards you) than (those two feelings are towards each other),” Steff said.
February 5 2010, 18:36:27 UTC 2 years ago
Re: Typo Report
"Either" goes with "or", not "and" and not "than". Your parentheses do nothing to address that.As for cinnamonbrandy's theory, I'll have to take your word for that. I've never been so emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted that I didn't care if what came out of my mouth made grammatical sense or not. It always bugs the hell out of me when I realize I've said something grammatically mangled and I have to go back and correct myself immediately. I'm kind of uptight that way and I get the feeling Mack would be too.
February 5 2010, 14:49:24 UTC 2 years ago
Re: Typo Report
I think the larger issue here is 'people don't proofread what they say while they're emotionally overwhelmed, exhausted & with someone they're not trying to impress'.H.
February 4 2010, 10:25:58 UTC 2 years ago
I think the word "normal" is missing there.
I love how gentle Steff can be with Mackenzie-- this chapter really spells out how much of herself she sees in Mackenzie's awkwardness and uncertainty, and it must be sort of interesting/trippy for her to get the chance to be to someone else something roughly analagous to what Viktor was to her (not in the "constant" sense, that would be Amaranth for Mackenzie, but in the kind of mix-between-danger-and-love sense). Steff in dreamily introspective mode is my favorite kind of Steff. At least the potion certainly doesn't seem to have done anything to make her emotionally resemble what we've seen of the subterranean halfkind (not that their emotional problems aren't entirely explicable considering their status in society).
I also like her thoughts on Dee. You know, I'd be totally thrilled if Tales of MU were entirely about Dee. She fascinates me more than anybody else in the story, and her culture is the most intriguing to me, too. I really hope you pick up again at some point with the OT set in her house-- I want to know what's going on with Alea and Dehsah (and Darek!). I would LOVE entire chapters of just Alea and Dehsah talking about Dee. SO many issues there.
February 4 2010, 10:44:01 UTC 2 years ago
It is good to see into Steff a bit more
and through her in to Viktor
I like this Steff
February 4 2010, 14:06:05 UTC 2 years ago
(Is the entire chapter supposed to display without the normal cut-tag?)
February 4 2010, 16:43:09 UTC 2 years ago
February 4 2010, 16:45:22 UTC 2 years ago
February 5 2010, 01:49:04 UTC 2 years ago
I love these occasional subtle reminders that Steff is, in fact, Chaotic Evil.
February 8 2010, 08:17:35 UTC 2 years ago
Chaotic evil Steff?
Referring back to our telepathic friend - having chaotic evil impulses and thoughts does not necessarily a chaotic evil character make.So far, I don't remember Steff acting in a chaotic evil way, ever. Or am I just doing the selective memory thing?
h.
February 8 2010, 15:43:33 UTC 2 years ago
Re: Chaotic evil Steff?
My impression was that she didn't only want to do terrible, evil things to innocent persons, but that she was _actively_planning_to_, once she got married to Viktor. IMO, there's a difference between idle thoughts, or even obsessive fantasies, and actual intent.Now that I think of it, she _did_ admit to having committed cannibalism while on break. It would surprise me greatly if she didn't engage in a little NON-CONSENSUAL torture of Viktor's slaves while she was at it too. If she hasn't tortured or raped an innocent person to death, it's only a matter of time.
February 10 2010, 07:08:19 UTC 2 years ago
Re: Chaotic evil Steff?
Saying non-consensual in reference to a slave is a little redundant don't you think?February 10 2010, 19:28:44 UTC 2 years ago
Re: Chaotic evil Steff?
A slave can still consent or not, it's just that his owner can ignore this. Not every sex with a slave is rape, for example, I would say.February 6 2010, 00:30:10 UTC 2 years ago
February 10 2010, 07:57:46 UTC 2 years ago